


we were the lights, the stories, the faraway worlds

by Taeyn



Series: Lotura [4]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Bonding, F/M, First Hug, Hurt/Comfort, Trust, season 5, touch starved/touch sensitive lotor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-21
Updated: 2018-03-21
Packaged: 2019-04-05 07:33:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14039295
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Taeyn/pseuds/Taeyn
Summary: She’s exhausted- she’s safe- Allura tightens her arms around him for one last breath, her lashes are damp with feeling and Lotor begs himself not to ruin this for her, to lower his arms and at least hold her too.





	we were the lights, the stories, the faraway worlds

**Author's Note:**

> a snippet of a moment at Oriande- Allura hugs Lotor outside the temple, and as much as Lotor needs her, he also doesn’t know how to hug back.

The sky is fading, the light turns cool on his skin. Lotor sits outside the temple, the steps cold and uncomfortable no matter how he leans, his elbows digging into his knees and hands hanging loosely between his legs. He feels heavy- not that deep, searing sort of exhaustion that ever fuels his way in the dark, but something shaky and shapeless, his fingers trembling every time he tries to lift them.

_Please be alright,_ Lotor wills, and then he can’t, not again for fear of waking the very opposite. The essence of the planet still prickles in his chest as he breathes, still watching and listening, speaks to him in a voice he can’t understand. And so he lowers his brow to his wrists and doesn’t- Lotor doesn’t allow the back of his throat to tighten, doesn’t think about how he was the one to tell her, to bring her, how if there was any last challenge beyond that which he failed, how he had left her to face it alone.

_We were both chosen,_ his thoughts curl back at him. _Perhaps two people- two alchemists- were always needed to overcome a final task._

It’s enough to make him stumble to his feet all over again, his palms already scraped raw from trying to force the stone. He feels foolish and desperate repeating his same actions- _there must be another way back in_ \- but he’s scoured the carvings to an edge of his skill, and he’s certain this is the only entrance.

“Please allow me,” Lotor whispers, the plea harsher for vocalising it. His voice sounds deep and more gravelled than he’d like, and Lotor swallows in an attempt to reclaim his bearings, tries not to grit his teeth, or shout, or anything else to betray how utterly furious he is at himself.

“Allow me to stand with her-” he hisses again, and he leans his face to the stone, half trying to listen, half to hold himself up. He heartbeat rushes in his ears in the beat that follows and Lotor realises he’s frightened, he can imagine her waiting, turning and him not being there, he’s never abandoned someone in battle and now his own inadequacy has forced his hand.

“Oh gods, Allura, forgive me-”

Lotor shutters his eyes, he can feel his upper lip snaring and his jaw clenched taut. He’d been so hopeful while they climbed the mountain, his stories and past bubbling up like a spring when he should have steeled his focus. He’s mortified now to recollect it- how much her words meant to him, how completely he’s let her down. Lotor’s inhale falters and he lets his knees sink, loose sand from the temple still stuck to his cheek.

_Forgive me..._

There’s a husk of air- dusty, untouched- and for a moment Lotor dares to believe he’s been answered, that it might not be too late to help where he can. But when he stands he can hear footsteps, swift and breathless, Lotor instinctively raises his arms as Allura runs to him through the shadow, to protect her or because she is too, he doesn’t have time to think before she’s gathered him in an embrace.

“You made it,” she says into his chest, her arms are squeezing without compromise around his torso, his own held stiff and clumsy above. “You made it, you made it- we did it.”

She’s exhausted- she’s safe- her fingers clasp into his suit and her smile presses in his front, and he knows then, with a clarity that leaves him stinging and winded-

There had been no final challenge.

This had never been about proving his honour through rite of combat at all.

Allura tightens her arms around him for one last breath, her lashes are damp with feeling and Lotor begs himself not to ruin this for her, to lower his arms and at least hold her too.

He wants to, he can’t move, and he feels graceless and empty as Allura softly pulls away, looks worriedly up at him as she senses something isn’t right. And then for everything that was at stake, Lotor only wishes she’d stayed a moment longer, that he could tell her again and again how glad he is for her, squash his face to her hair and hug her just as fiercely back.

“Well done, Allura,” Lotor says quietly, his arms lost by his sides and his posture still bowed, in case in some universe he might get a second chance for this too. He doesn’t- there isn’t- and Lotor dips his head toward his chest as his eyes darken, less concerned with his dignity than showing his words are sincere. He feels the touch of her hand at his elbow and realises she’s steadying him, her eyebrows are creased and mouth taut with emotion. She understands then what’s transpired, and there’s no gesture for how grateful Lotor feels when she chooses not yet to ask.

“-please know that I am pleased for you,” Lotor tries again. However painful his regret, this moment isn’t his, not when she looks so close to home.

Allura doesn’t break his gaze, and Lotor feels his cheeks burning, it’s the best he can summon and bitterly far from enough. But then Allura smiles- small and heartfelt and real, she looks at him with a warmth that saves him, like he’s always been there too.

“Before we leave,” Allura says softly. “Before…”

She nods to the way they came, the dusk newly speckled with refracted light.

_The journey, the sky, the others._

“The secret... it was already with me-” Allura pushes through the words like they might crack, Lotor feels a bite resurface in his windpipe as she takes one of his hands. “If you hadn’t trusted we could do this-”

“Allura-” Lotor utters, though something sharp and gaping echoes inside him, her palms are clasping tightly over his knuckles, Allura still sees his markings where he knows they’re near gone. She grips firmer as Lotor reaches for the strength to hold her, he lifts his thumb and curls it over the bend of hers.

“I found something today because you knew it was there,” Allura tells him, determined, and her eyes fall to their hands, his poor attempt of a gesture at the brink of so much. Lotor tilts his head back a fraction to stare at the night, tries not to blink or swallow, he feels like he’s fighting all over again.

“You believed in me,” says Allura, her shoulders lifting as she raises her arm, far slower than before. She doesn’t look hesitant or tentative- and Lotor had been certain she would be, after his earlier lack of response- she only looks like she’s asking, that she’ll be there either way. He tries to drop his shoulders a little, he can’t breathe or even meet her eyes, he feels her shift on tiptoe and Lotor leans down further than he thought he could. Allura closes her arms around his chest as Lotor makes a sip of a sound- he didn’t think it would hurt to be held so gently- but he never wants to let go as she draws him close, her ear tucked to the hollow of his throat and his nose squashed in her hair. He has no idea how tightly to press her to him, his ribcage aches viciously and the side of her face- this seems like the most obvious thing he could have known- but the side of her face is warm at the spot below his neck, and her frame is real and solid, and when he splays his palms carefully at her back, he can feel the rise of her inhale, not nearly so strangled as his.

The temple is bright behind her.

Her hair is soft and matted at his cheek.

Lotor squeezes his eyes in the fog, no longer holding on so much as holding her back, he smiles even though she can’t see it, smiles again when she leans up so she can.

“I believe in you too,” Allura whispers.

 

-

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much for reading! <3 any comments and kudos are always adored and warmly appreciated! c’:
> 
> [@sillyshiro](http://sillyshiro.tumblr.com) on tumblr~! ♡


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